Today's inspiration.....

....comes once again from Sir Ken. "You can think of creativity as a conversation between what we're trying to figure out and the media we're using."

This quote struck me so profoundly. Each of us has some creative capacity, and whether our medium is paint, music, words, mathematics, business, or something else, we are all on the same journey. We are all asking the same questions. We are all having that conversation with life.

What is it that we seek? We seek joy and peace. Love and comfort. Adventure, new ideas, laughter. Novel experiences. Comfortable familiarity. Each day is a new conversation with life. What will you teach me today? What can I offer back?

This journey to truth is our destination. Though we may yearn for faraway places, airplanes, and a full passport, we need only look inside to find ourselves on the path to the great unknown. For inside us lies an endless mystery, a pilgrimage to everything true.

Until next time.

Wanderlust

Ok, summer in Oklahoma is over, and the bug currently biting me is the TRAVEL BUG! This should be of no surprise, as I am afflicted with an incurable case of wanderlust, and it flares fairly regularly. I want to plant my foot on foreign soil! Nearly 16 months and I'm ready to take flight, with or without a plane.

Since exposing myself to Couchsurfing.org, my travel desire has increased tenfold. My desire to see new places, experience new things, meet new people, expose myself to new ideas, new cultures, new sights.....I can feel it burning inside me, like a fire in my heart.

Life has been pretty hectic lately. Working full time, teaching three classes, taking a Saturday class, applying for grad school, and studying for the GRE does not leave much time for the fun things! (Or even the not-so-fun things like laundry and working out!!) So I guess it's natural that the great unknown is calling.

I am happy for the opportunities in front of me. All this hard work will pay off, I have no doubt, regardless of the outcome. Until it all unfolds, though, I will continue traveling the world in my dreams, and wake up ready to keep working toward my goals. Soon, though, you will find me, on a jet plane to who knows where. Make no mistake about that.

Until next time! xoxo

Classroom Revolution

Lately I have become enamored with Sir Ken Robinson (and TED talks in general).

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

Ken Robinson asserts that schools squander creativity because they are designed to produce a specific prototype. He also posits that we must make a change soon, as education inflates to the point of nearly being obsolete. (A bachelor's degree used to secure you a job. Now, most jobs that used to require a Bachelor's degree now require a Master's, and so forth.) We are going to have to find more creative approaches to evaluating intelligence.

I tend to agree, and it is my sincere desire to make my class the best it possibly can be. To think about the real objectives I have and do all that I can to create an environment in which students can reach those goals.

So, what are my educational objectives?

1. To create better communicators
2. To generate interest in service projects, and provide them opportunities to serve in their communities
3. To find creative approaches to curriculum that is more interactive and engaging
4. To work with my mentor to write a grant that would enable us to take a group of students to Kenya
5. To help students to learn how to effectively research topics

This is only the beginning. I want to harness the enthusiasm I felt yesterday and focus on making these changes a reality.  I want to create a classroom experience that is as effective as it can be. It's time to take the training wheels off. :)

There is only one rule, that I know of, babies....

God dammit, you've got to be kind-Kurt Vonnegut

This is one of my favorite quotes. It's simple; it's straightforward; it's a little sassy.

There is infinite wisdom all around us-Gibran, Rumi, Hesse, Gandhi-these great figures and so many others offer us words to stir the soul, words to inspire men and nations, words to feed the mind. But these simple words simply say it all. Be kind. That is the only rule.

On this path to meaning, one thing that I have always sought is purity of soul. To absolve myself of any earthly concerns, and find love in everything around me. To remove fear. I have a long way to go......but I hope that, by adopting this mantra, I will find myself a little closer to that peaceful place.

Until next time.....

Get Up Offa That Thing!

What motivates a person? This conversation was sparked this weekend, and it got me thinking.

My significant other is a highly motivated, goal driven individual. In my younger days, I would have said the same thing of myself. It was easier in those days, because the goals were predefined. Get good grades, get into college, excel at extracurriculars. However, as I have gotten older, (and the "adult goals" have become less defined)  I have noticed a change.

When comparing "goal notes" with my honey, here's what I said: My goal is simply to be  happy. Sounds simple enough. I want my happiness to be free, unattached to thoughts of money, success, or material possessions. If my happiness is pure, and resides in my being, then it cannot disappear or be taken away by circumstance.

But there is a drawback to abstract goals and a preoccupation with temporal satisfaction: If left untended, it can create stagnation. And while I think it's important to be able to be happy in any given situation, how do I motivate myself to move forward?

Perhaps there is a difference between "happiness" and "satisfaction". I would say that I am not satisfied with my present circumstances, even though I consider myself happy. So maybe it's simply a matter of defining the things in my life that are unsatisfying, and addressing them, all the while maintaining a positive disposition, and having faith in the journey.

Until next time......

No Man is an Island

It is true that we cannot walk this path alone. Of all the things in life that we need in order to survive, perhaps the greatest of these is, in fact, love.

Life can be trying at times. Sometimes the burdens we bear seem unbearable. But when we are surrounded by those who love us, suddenly those burdens become lighter. When things seem dark, love and support allow a little light to shine in. Simply knowing that we are not alone can turn a seemingly desperate situation into one that is manageable.

If there is someone in your life who has been that beacon of hope for you, take a moment to reflect on that act of kindness and remember how it felt. Then pass it on. We can all make the world a better place for someone. We can all share the load. :)

The Hat Has Spoken

Sometimes you have to shake it up. So when my significant other suggested a couple of weeks ago that we take an international trip next year, I decided we should make it fun. So here's what I suggested:

We each pick 3 places that were reasonably traversable in roughly a ten day period.

We don't tell each other our selections.

We put them in a hat.

We draw one out.

And away we go!!

So that's what we did. :) Narrowing it down to three wasn't easy. I'll admit my selections came down to the wire. But we did it!

And...drumroll please....

We're going to PERU!!!! We are both very excited. Let the planning and adventure begin!

HeartBodyMindSoul

It stands to reason that on the path to finding meaning in our lives, we must take care of ourselves along the way. That is not to say that the occasional hangover isn't worth it. ;) After all, how fun is a perfectly straight path?? So let's just say we need to ensure that on the scale of being good to ourselves we have a net positive. :)

But there are a lot of steps to taking care of ourselves. We must ensure that we are taking care of our bodies, nurturing our souls, challenging our minds, and opening our hearts. In my quest for meaning, I'm trying to ensure that I am consciously pursuing all of these goals. I'm opening my heart in ways I never have before, breaking down walls long ago constructed. I've started attending the YMCA, and am loving every minute of it. (Working out is so much more fun than watching what I eat!!) I've been able to read more this summer, and my mind is grateful for the brain food after being a bit starved for far too long! As far as feeding my soul goes....this is probably the most important, and the one that is most elusive. I'm learning that there is a difference between traveling and soul traveling. Traveling just to see vs. traveling to grow and experience. Since travel has become such a staple for experience in my life, I want to ensure that when I do so, I'm choosing the latter. This is a goal that I can move forward with soon, with a couple of visits to the west coast on my horizon! Wish me luck!

Curves ahead

The road to meaning has been a curvy one. I suppose it is never a straight line for anyone. From pursuing my endeavors in the classroom to volunteering at the homeless shelter to finally picking up a guitar, I have searched for peace and a quiet soul. Through all my searching, I have known to some extent the fruitlessness of my search, It is in me and it is all around me. "I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty", Kabir tells us.

Traveling has always been one of the most literal manifestations of this search for meaning. I was bitten by the travel bug early, but probably caught the fever my senior year, when I visited London for the first time. Despite the freezing temperatures, I fell immediately in love with the city, and vowed to return, which I did for the first time last year. There is something so wonderful about putting yourself in a new setting, talking to different people, seeing different things, experiencing different cultures/customs/foods. For me, it's like being shaken awake. Lately, so much of my day to day feels robotic, like I'm on auto pilot. Traveling wakes me up to the real possibilities of life. A soul awakened.

I think you have to break up the monotony when you sense its presence. You don't have to cross oceans to do it. Just remember to keep shaking it up. Try something new. Talk to someone you've never spoken to before. Do something. Do anything. This is your life. Don't miss it.

Wisdom from Dostoevsky

"Listen! I know that talking is wrong: it's better simply to set an example, better simply to begin… I have already begun… and-and is it really possible to be unhappy? Oh, what are my grief and my trouble, if I am able to be happy? You know, I don’t understand how it's possible to pass by a tree and not be happy to see it. To talk with a man and not be happy that you love him! Oh, I only don’t know how to say it… but there are so many things at every step that are so beautiful, that even the most confused person finds beautiful. Look at a child, look at God’s sunrise, look at the grass growing, look into the eyes that are looking at you and love you…"

--Fyodor Dostoevsky, "The Idiot"

I'm not going to add anything to this one. Just wanted to share. :)

That Human Connection

The other night, while driving home, my significant other and I were deeply involved in a wonderful conversation. So much so that, when we arrived at the turn-in to his neighborhood, he just kept driving, not wanting to interrupt the flow of it, which (for some reason, with our easily distractable human condition) turning off the car and going inside would have done.

So we just kept driving. And talking. And it was wonderful. We learned new things about one another, shared stories from our youth, talked about this and that.

It made me remember that it's conversations like these that provide us with that human connection, that mental stimulation, that soul-stirring reminder that we are alive, that we are human, that we are all connected through this beautiful communicative experience, this uniquely human thing. 

This is the element of life that I never want to lose touch with. The fusing of souls that happens when a truly wonderful conversation sparks up, and that moment is frozen in time. You may not remember what was discussed, but you always remember the way it made you feel.

Mental Antiperspirant VS the Small Stuff

"I did not want to live what was not life. Living is so dear."-Henry David Thoreau

I love this quote, and it seems to summarize so beautifully how I have been feeling lately. I want so much to breathe each moment, and to enjoy and appreciate everything beautiful and positive around me. Our time here is so precious, and it is so easy to lose sight of the beauty that is all around. We get caught up in our day to day experiences-the jobs we tolerate but that don't satisfy, the day to day chores, the unexpected stresses. It can be difficult to find beauty when we find ourselves feeling stressed out or irritated. But it can be done, and to live a happy life, it must be done. We must not allow ourselves to be dragged down by the negative, but instead must realize that every struggle teaches us something. In every negative there may be a positive we're overlooking. Most importantly, it's important to realize that our REACTION to stress or irritation is really the key to happiness. We can become frustrated when we drop something, or we can simply bend over, pick it up, and keep going. If we allow ourselves to hyper-focus or become emotionally elevated, we are only creating an unnecessary negative situation for ourselves, and we alone will suffer from that. Would you make someone you love suffer unnecessarily?? Why is it so much easier to do it to ourselves?

This is what I hope to continue working on and improving in myself. To rise above the aggravations and continue to pursue the true meaning. After all, as Rumi reminds us, "If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?"

Taking the Leap

I've never been a very good planner. I prefer to follow the natural pattern of life. I'm not disengaged-I try to be in tune to clues from the universe, and pursue new opportunities when it feels right. But taking decisive action has never been my strong suit. I recognize that this is to my detriment. You have to take charge of your life. If you sit idly by, waiting for the giant epiphany, or for the career fairy to come to your bedside while you sleep,  you may fail to realize that all the clues have been in front of you all along-they just didn't come in the form of an "Aha!" moment.

It has become impossible to ignore the fact that higher ed is my calling. I've tried to silence the tiny voice for a long time, through my so-called logic (read: fears) but it's grown more demanding and more impatient.  The classroom is the place in which I seem to find my voice, the place I feel that I'm making a meaningful difference. Which means that, if I truly want to pursue that future, the classroom is exactly where I will find myself again. If I want to be a full time, tenure-track professor, I will have to commit to and complete a PhD.

Confession: I am completely terrified. So many things about this leap scare the bejeesus (no, spell check, i did not mean to say "blue jeans") out of me. I haven't been a student in a long time. What if my academic skills have dulled?? The last time I was in the classroom, smart phones didn't exist. The world was different. What if my attention span has shortened?? A lot of people begin a Phd and never finish. What if that's me??

Here is possibly the scariest part of the whole equation for me. Most who begin a Phd program are discouraged from working, because of the time requirements of the demanding program.

Hmm. So, I'll have to quit working. No income. For 3-5 years. Sure. What planet do these people live on???? Surely not one where you have a roof overhead (even a modest one) or a car payment, or, or, or......
Maybe all Phd candidates are trust fund babies.

No, that can't be it. It has to be attainable. There has to be a way, one that doesn't involve me coming out on the other side with $200,000 worth of debt.

So, I'll ask questions. I'll find a way. Because the alternative is a life spent in what may as well be a cubicle, doing nothing of importance, while a dead end job buys my dreams at the low, low price of $35,000 a year.

The journey begins......

"Human Folly Does Not Impede the Turning of the Stars"

I love this quote from Tom Robbins. It is a very simple way to say many things at once.

1. We can feel free to make mistakes. :)

Making mistakes will not mean the end of the world. It is very unlikely that it will mean the end of our lives. This affords us freedom. Freedom to dream, freedom to experiment, freedom to FAIL! To fail gloriously. To fail with style. And, if we are very lucky, freedom to learn from the experiences we allow ourselves to have. If we don't allow ourselves to try new things, to make mistakes, what a boring life we may lead!!

2. We are less important than we think. :)

Sometimes it is easy to get wrapped up in our own existence. It's easy to do-we experience our entire world through our own lens, and we're with ourselves 24 hours a day!!! But we need some perspective. It's not all about us. There is a lot going on in the world. The best we can hope for is to be a positive influence on the people we are fortunate enough to encounter in this life!! Humility is a beautiful thing.

3. We can't get in the way of our ultimate destiny. :)

That's not to say we do not have free will. There are many paths we may choose to take. But ultimately, things have a way of working out. The doors that are meant to open will open. Yes, it is a cooperative relationship, this thing between ourselves and the universe. We have to engage.  But once we do, oh the things that will cross our paths!!! You just have to trust your gut, put one foot in front of the other, and start walking!! 

Stirring the (Soul) Pot!

I've realized in recent days that my soul feels much more alive than it has in a while. I'm not sure if it's due to the intellectual challenge of new, exciting literature, (and the fact that I have time to read new, exciting literature!) the free time I now have available for quiet contemplation, the deep conversations I've been having with friends and loved ones, or some unquantifiable combination of these things. All I know is this: I like it! I've missed that feeling, that stirring in the soul when you know you've hit upon something, that deeper side of life, one that has nothing to do with Burger King, wireless internet connections, or what's happening on CNN. It was disconcerting to me that I felt far removed from that feeling, that its resurface made me feel like I'd been missing an old friend who had just returned to me. The last thing I want is to get swept up in the day-to-day, the hectic days that turn into weeks that turn into months filled with to-do lists, and wake up months later to find that minutia has been monopolizing my thoughts and time. I've always been a ponderer of the "big questions", a seeker of deeper meaning. The search for meaning has been a natural part of my development, and something I hope to never lose. It can be difficult. The responsibilities we have can take their toll to be sure. But how do we maintain that balance? How do we ensure that we maintain that connection in a world so full of distractions? How can we overcome our limited attention span society? We must first decide, then commit ourselves to the decision. To recognize that the unhappy birds do not need our help against their piggish opponents, but perhaps our restless souls need help fighting the battle against, as Tom Robbins puts it, the tyranny of the dull mind. It's easy to say now that my schedule has opened up. But how to maintain that determination once summer fades and fall finds its way back......I hope to uncover that answer soon. Happy Monday everyone!

Man's Search for Meaning

"Live as if you are living already for the second time, and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now"-Viktor Frankl

I am currently reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and father of the concept of "logotherapy". (I highly recommend reading more on this topic if you're unfamiliar; it is a fascinating approach to therapy, focusing on helping its patients find meaning in their own lives.) It is one of the most important pieces of literature I've come across in a long time, as it has further inspired me to continue my pursuit toward that path I believe we are all on, which is to find some sense of meaning to this existence, this time we have on earth.

I could easily devote an entire blog post to this book and Frankl's work and experiences, but I want to focus instead on the quote, because I found it so stirring, so wise, and so relevant.

Live as if you are living already for the second time, and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now. Who among us hasn't looked back on our past, events that have transpired, choices made, and wished that we could guide our former selves away from the mistakes we were about to make? True, there is the argument that every decision is purposeful, because it leads us where we are destined to be. But if we had the wisdom, the determination to approach our decisions in this way when faced with them.....it would allow you to become your own teacher, to take a step back from your own person and look at your actions, thoughts, and feelings objectively. To recognize the possible ways in which you may be shortchanging yourself and damaging your own experience here, enabling yourself to fully actualize yourself and your experience! 

We all make mistakes. We limit ourselves with our doubts, our insecurities, our needless worries. But in taking this step back, we can perhaps recognize the error of our ways and reassert our own limitless possibilities. I may not always know what lies ahead, but no one knows me better than me. Who better, then, to fend off potential mistakes?? There are so many things in this world that are beyond our control. But our actions, perceptions, and reactions to the things we face-that is 100% within our grasp. Let's make the most of this world, of this experience!

Reconnecting

Now that summer is officially in full swing, my life and I are having a REUNION!! Woo-hoo!

Teaching at RSU has, over the course of the past three years, become the most gratifying professional experience of my life. Without it, I would still be struggling to figure out "what I want to do with my life", and would probably have perished from ECA, or Excessive Corporate America.

I can't say enough good things about this experience. The faculty at RSU have been absolutely wonderful. I have found a professional network of brilliant, energetic, nurturing faculty who have been kind enough to share their wisdom and friendship alike. The students, more and more (as I get more comfortable and confident in my role as "instructor") have been engaged, enthusiastic, and curious, have made me laugh, made me proud, and made me more certain every semester that academia is where I belong.  I still have so much more to learn, and can't wait to continue learning from my dream team of mentors.

 With that being said, it does come at a price. The trade-off has been my beloved social life, and invaluable time spent with dear friends. It's hard sometimes. It's isolating and lonely. However, I know it won't always be this way, and that sometimes the things you want or are destined to achieve come at a (temporary) price.

But summer!! Oh, summer. I welcome you with open arms. I look forward to cookouts, pool parties, Tulsa music, reading for pleasure, pints of beer, and, well, more pints of beer. 

I won't be a total slacker. I will be preparing for the GRE, and sitting in on summer classes of the aforementioned dream team.

How could a summer kicked off with a Wilco show be anything but glorious??? I can't wait to see what it has in store. Happy summer everyone!

Back to Blogging

I used to be an avid blogger. Myspace was my friend, back in the days before Facebook took over the world. It occurred to me that I missed having that outlet, a place to gather my thoughts and put them out into the world, in case anyone was interested in the meandering musings of a sort of young, politically displaced Okie with a passion for philosophy, classrooms, and Wilco.

In my neverending search for meaning, I invite you all to come along, as I attempt to make some sense out of this crazy, mixed-up world.